One Last Chance....Wasted

By Teague Tysseling

He was giving me one last chance. One last chance to be alive again. It was so dark in Mr. Lucifer's huge office. The black walls were almost staring at me. The smell of death filled the room. Well, not so much the smell of death, mostly the smoke from Mr. Lucifer's cigar. That awful smelling crud was so thick, I could barely see.

    "I am going to give you one last chance. There is an assignment that has been sitting in my files for several months." Mr. Lucifer bellowed.

    "Wh...What do y..you want me to do, cause whatever it is, I'll do it." I stuttered.

    "Seeing as how your original body is.....gone, as is the rest of your life. There is one way left for you to return to the world of the living." As Mr. Lucifer talked, he reached across the room (without getting up, which was the creepy part) into a filing cabinet completely hidden in the shadows that engulfed the entire room. "Take this down to the Collection Department, you will be filled in there." As I was heading out the door Mr. Lucifer called back "and one more thing....do not fail!" Those last words echoed through my thoughts, the pitch getting deeper and deeper.

    As I stepped into the waiting room to Mr. Lucifer. s office, the smell dulled from that of death to that of getting as sick as you can possibly get without actually dying.

    The Collection department was littered with overexcited demons running everywhere. The guy who seemed to be in charge of the Collection department was so large, he should not have been able to stand without his legs snapping like twigs.

    He waddled up to me and said "Hiya, I. m Gluttony, you know, Seven Deadly Sins." I should have known. He continued "Ain. t youse the guy the boss called about." He grabbed the file out of my hands faster than one would think he could move. "Yeah, that. s you. The (ahem) special assignment. Here, take this and get in line." He grabbed one of the demons that had, up to now, had seemed to have been running around at random, but were apparently moving in a highly efficient pattern for filing contracts. By the way, if you have not guessed by now, I am in hell. The demon Gluttony had grabbed handed him a document that Obesity immediately shoved into my hands.

    "Your assignment is to take possession of the body of Mr. David Machonley, who shall be henceforth referred to as the party of the first part. Several months ago we, the party of the second part, purchased the eternal soul of the party of the first part for the sum of 2.5million dollars." I read on "After losing the entire sum in a series of failed investments, the party of the first part refused to fulfill his part of the contract. Once you take control of the physical body of the party of the first part, his soul will be automatically transferred to the Collection department. You will be free to live the life of the party of the first part as you wish, though you will still report to and serve us."

    "P.S. Our many, many lawyers have advised us to warn you that& " Before I could finish the last sentence Obesity grabbed me by the shoulders and practically threw me into a mile long line of disembodied souls such as myself.

    If time actually existed in hell, I would say that I had waited for days before I reached the front of the line. "Next" yelled the demon not even looking up from his clipboard. He stood next to some sort of portal to the living world. I stepped up and walked though the liquid red portal.

* * * * *

    I opened my eyes and looked around. I was in a reeking, filthy apartment not even fit for the cockroaches. Or at least, the body I inhabited was in a reeking filthy apartment not even fit for the cockroaches. & It. s good to be back.

    I looked into the living room and saw beautiful redheaded woman. Since it has been so long since I have experienced fear, it took me a few seconds before I realized that she was emptying round after round of a 22 gauge in my general direction and I had soiled myself. I was able to get to the fire escape before she actually hit me. "Don. t think that you can get away from me!" she screamed after me. I ducked though the allies and around corners until I was sure that I had lost her.

    I wandered the streets for hours until I found a bar to crawl into.

    "Hey, David, long time no see." I heard a voice call out behind me. "How about I buy you a drink I might as well, seeing as how it is going to be you last." Said the man behind me as he shoved a gun into my back.

    "Don. t even think about it, he. s mine." Shouted the redhead from the apartment as she burst though the door. She aimed the shotgun straight between my eyes. Before she could fire, the man holding the gun to my back swung his arm around and squeezed the trigger. Blam Blam Blam one in the shoulder, two through the heart. Her body fell to the ground. I dived behind the bar counter. A piece of paper fell out of my coat pocket. It was the letter that Gluttony gave me. I wondered how it got here. I read the last line

    It said "P.S. Our many, many lawyers have advised us to warn you that in the events that caused his loss of the 2.5 million dollars also seemed to have influenced the lives of others who may blame Mr. Machoney, causing you considerable& & ..trouble." I thought of how much I hate lawyers and how this letter contributed to that hate.

* * * * *

    That was the seven thousandth and thirty-fourth time that I. ve gone over that memory. As you can guess, I am dead again. The only reason that I am thinking about that horribly painful memory so may times is because it is all that I can do. I am in an empty void without another soul around. You would think that the void would be pitch black, but there aren. t even any colors. I. m not even sure I have anything that could be considered form or shape. I can. t tell here. It. s endless nothingness. It. s enough to drive a person insane, which I would gladly welcome. Insanity would be like a vacation, but I. m denied even my insanity here; like a prison within a prison. Hmmm, that. s pretty damn poetic. Anyway, I. m stuck with my loathsome sanity and that horrible memory. All I have,& no, all I am is my thoughts. What can I say, Hell is Hell.