What Did The Vegetables Ever Do To You?

 "Cain was a farmer, Able raised livestock. Able offered one of his calves to God as a sacrifice. God was pleased and gave Able a pretty new hat. Cain offered a plate of carrot sticks as a sacrifice. God was pissed and cursed Cain with a celestial wedgie. Cain became angry and since there wasn't a ladder tall enough to allow him to smack God upside the head, Cain decided to find Able and slice him like a holiday ham, which he did. This just goes to show one thing, Vegetarians are heartless murderers and they're all going to hell!"

       A vegetable never hurt anyone, yet thousands of people in america are ganging up against the defenseless greens. Why single out the most harmless of edibles? Because they're not cute and cuddly like baby seals or cows. That's just disgusting. To be so shallow as to decide what lives and what dies based on whether it's furry or not. In Pamplona during the running of the bulls people are trampled to death. I'VE NEVER HEARD OF A RADISH TRAMPLING SOMEONE TO DEATH. Vegetables are much more humane than cattle. A cow would kill you if it had the chance, and it sure as hell wouldn't care how your ride over was. It'll just come up to you and say "Hi, Moo (CHOMP)" and just bite your head off right there. Plants don't do that,...........well, venus fly traps and some other plants eat bugs, but only really stupid bugs. That's nature, Dog eat stupider dog. But we defy nature by setting aside the cute stuff (Which tastes a lot better anyway, trust me) and going after the greens that aren't a threat and actually help us more by being alive and producing oxygen. YOU MORONS!